When you adopt outside your own socially-designated racial group, you suddenly become head of a multiracial family. Whether your child is in school or by your side, you are forever part of this multiracial family.

AFFIRMING SIMILARITIES

Although you do not share your child’s genes, there are likely some similarities between you and your child in physical appearance, personality, interests, or talents. Verbally acknowledging these similarities claims your child and affirms their place as a complete member of your family. (Examples: “You and your brother have sturdy wide feet just like Daddy and Grandpa.” “I loved going to the library when I was a little girl, just like you do.”)

CELEBRATING DIFFERENCES

At the same time, it is imperative to acknowledge the differences between you and your child—appearance, personality, interests, or talents—that are likely part of your child’s biological heritage. (Examples: “Your hair is so beautiful and curly, just like your birthmother.” “You are such a speedy runner. I think someone in your birthfamily must have been a fast runner, too.”)

BOTH SIMILAR AND UNIQUE

Together, these two types of recognition help your child negotiate a complete identity for themself that affirms their permanent place in your family, while also acknowledging the valuable genetic history of their birthfamily.

In Their Own Voices:
Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories
By Rita James Simon & Rhonda M. Roorda

Interviews with young adults who were adopted transracially and grew up in the United States.

Purchase from Amazon

Outsiders Within:
Writing on Transracial Adoption
Edited by Jane Jeong Trenka, Julia Chinyere Oparah, & Sun Yung Shin

Essays and other writing by adult transracial adoptees.

Purchase from Amazon

Black Baby, White Hands
By Jaiya John

The personal narrative of an African American man who was adopted as an infant into an all-White family and community.

Purchase from Amazon

Inside Transracial Adoption:
Strength-based, culture-sensitizing parenting strategies for inter-country or domestic adoptive families that don’t “match”
By Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall

Written by two adoptive mothers who started the PACT adoption agency.

Purchase from Amazon